CosmicBen's Blogulous Blog

Posted 10:55 PM by Ben
As usual, not a hectic few days, but they've been heartwarming nonetheless. Lots of little moments, some that I have to kick myself to notice, but all of them "a blessing" (as I told my mom). Am I normally this sappy?

Last night was the bi-annual (or so) Summit of Marlins and Goldmans, in which my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Richard talk with my mom, my sister Carin, and me about various life issues. Carin was sleeping last night but she's still a member of the group.

Nobody else refers to it by name, but it happens every couple of years by complete accident, where someone starts the conversation and we end up talking for an hour or more, always past our bedtimes. Since we all live in different cities, I'm amazed that it still happens once in a while, and I always get a lot out of the conversation. I'm thankful for that.

This morning, I had a fulfilling 40-minute walk/talk with Carin. Then my Aunt Hedy visited for an hour, and talked with us Marlins and my Aunt Marilyn, Uncle Steve, and cousin Amanda, who are all in town. We talked about my teaching, Carin's France experience, Amanda's senioritis, Aunt Marilyn's books, and Uncle Steve's childhood. For this I am also thankful.

(The more I think about family, the more I see it as an arbitrary but completely worthwhile concept. My belief right now is that everybody benefits from having a group of some kind, whether or not they are biologically connected to one another. Seeing my family is not important because some scientist could test all of our DNA and find a link between us; it is important because these are the people I have seen on and off since I was born, and they genuinely care about me and I care about them and it's just a lot of fun when we get together.

Sometimes it is a little strained when we try to make conversation.......never in a bad way, just in a "looking for something to talk about" way.....and you might think that if the bond were stronger, there would be more to talk about. But I've come to believe that the effort solidifies the relationship more than a fluid conversation would. For a brief second I will think, "Is this worth it?" but then I realize that it completely is, because without connections between people, awkward or otherwise, family or otherwise, we are that much less fulfilled. So in trying to make those connections, we are actually making them.)

Next was a fun lunch at New York, New York (I tried to look for Evan in the big mural on the wall, but I think he was hiding inside one of the buildings). I had some good salad. Uncle Steve showed me his XM Satellite Radio, the posessing of which is now my goal in life.

Tonight was a whirlwind dinner at Bubby and Grandpa's condo. Too many relatives to name; 19 of "The 20" on my mother's side managed to make it, from Ponte Vedra, Davie, Roswell, Gainesville, and Bourges. Not a bad average, but Marissa was missed (although she made a cameo appearance on the phone). More fun bonding with cousins (especially Jon), eating way more than I should, and posing for a million pictures.

Again, not to get too sappy, but when we all sang the Hanukkah blessings together I got kind of misty-eyed. Astute readers (being Katie) are rolling their eyes right now, because I have in the past been laid-back about seeing family and nonexistent about being Jewish. So I'll rationalize it by saying that I have matured about family, and was happy and incredulous that something, religious or not, brought us together for a few unified seconds. Then off to a million different conversations, which are fine too. Meyers time is happy time for me.

The last crazy act of my mini-vacation was going over to see Jen, who just got into town from El Paso. It's been a year and a half since I've seen her, so this meant a lot to me. Six years after high school, I was amazed to be back at the Moran house, watching them celebrate Christmas, talking to her parents, seeing Jen's brother and sister and husband Mike. I try to never burn any bridges but sometimes I am genuinely surprised to be back in a familiar but long-lost setting.

I am thankful for being able to see Jen. The statement about family applies to her, too. What is the point of seeing an old friend for an hour, every 18 months? Why keep it up? Because those relationships keep me grounded and happy, connected to the past but presently surrounded (metaphorically if not physically) by people I care about. Without that hour, or monthly e-mails, or semi-annual phone calls, with Jen and other old friends, I'd be empty in a way that I don't even want to imagine. If all we had left was small talk, it would be sad but still a million times more important than small talk with someone I just met on the street. Strip everything down to the effort and you still have a lasting, fulfilling relationship.

Tomorrow I head back to Gainesville and my one true love. As happy as I am about what I did in Miami, I miss that love more than anything in the world. Katie, by the time you read this, I'll be in West Palm Beach and smiling because I'll see you in a few hours.

Have a good night, all. Thanks for reading.